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Trust and Believe, Amen


Trust and Believe, Amen

It came again. That very first horrifying night terror that started the whole ball rolling. Darkness, me running for my life from something so evil it could make my heart stop, turning as I fall, looking up into a pair of extremely menacing eyes, waking up instantly, realizing I am back in my own special cell, tied down again. I must have been swinging and kicking yet again, 30 cc cocktail must have been injected again, left side of my neck pretty sore and tender. 

           Jail. Nut section.

           Crazy enough to commit a terrible crime and admit it proudly in the name of justice made up in your mind. 

           1st year of a 3-year sentence. 

           1st month. Oh my god. Age, 21 years, 3 months, 5 days.

           Dream inside a dream.

           Jerked back into present day. 

           Hot as hell, adjusting mind and eyes as I slowly realize that I am free, that I escaped a marriage of pure hell, and I am still alive and kicking, thank the good lord, Amen. 

April 2, 1995. We had been together for 8 months when he finally kissed me….

September 5, 2014. It was a good day for me, because he woke up in a good mood, affectionate, even…

October 23, 2014, of all days…My brain did not understand the crime I had done, or had any knowledge that I had committed one…

           Woke up in my hometown jail, “strapped and stuck” again!

           Pushed back to present day, remembering that day in October vividly. Just like one other loved one, oh my god! Did I really almost kill my “so called” kind & generous husband? 

           If they only knew, God…

Painting by Gwynne Duncan 

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