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Here We Go Again!

Lanise Redwine

Here We Go Again!

I am so tired of hearing the word nigger coming out of a white mouth when speaking about me. You would think that being one of the only black female officers in a prison would earn you a little respect. Oh how I was wrong. Today is my 1st shift of work after graduation and I am welcomed with the word nigger as a welcoming gift.

             3 months of training from 8:00 am- 4 pm and a state board test of 180 questions. I tested at the top of my class getting 84%. I wasn’t going to let that word stop me from doing the best I could at this job. Especially when I had carried this word through life. Being one of 11 black kids in school growing up and now one of the only female black officers.

             I started with a shack-down. That takes about 30 minutes looking through the inmate’s bunk from top to bottom. I am excited to start. I won’t let anything get me out of the excitement of starting a new job.  Look at all of this stuff he has. Weed. A homemade lighter. All of it hidden under his bunk. Damn this is a pretty good find. These were the words going through my mind at the same time I heard a man’s voice say dumb nigger bitch. I looked up and there stands a bald-headed white inmate. 

             I caught eyes with the inmate and he was waiting for my reaction. I did nothing but on the inside I was red hot like the inmate’s face. Damn! I was thinking. Here we go again. I’m having to just eat being called a nigger. I thought that things would of changed by now but who am I kidding this shit will always be. So. I wrote the inmate up for his statement and for the items found inside of his cell. I from that point remembered who I was and kept my head up knowing always I am black + hated but I always loved being me. Not many can do this job but nothing is stopping me. 

Painting by Gwynne Duncan 

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